Would You Like to Play Again?

I think I need to reset myself. It's been a while since I've spent any substantial amount of time alone, and that's not necessarily a good thing. That's not to say I don't adore the people around me; I do. But, being the type of person who doesn't know how to be around others without trying to gain everyone's attention, I tend to get more crass and obnoxious the longer I go without time alone. It's like time by myself allows me a chance to do things that I enjoy as an individual, and doing those things gives me substance. The more time I spend around other people, the more that substance starts to deplete; I use it up having good conversation and making banter. The less I have, the more self-conscious I get about people finding out and, consequentially, the harder I have to try to hide it. That tends to result in my becoming increasingly crude and obnoxious, classless, if you will. Apparently, in my logic, my increased volume will make people more inclined to listen to what I am saying. And I think I hate it. Therefore, I think that I need to enforce a certain amount of alone time every week. Regardless of what others are doing, my homework still needs to get done. There are books to be read and singing to be practised and poems to be written. Neglecting those is not going to make me happier, and it certainly won't make me a more interesting person to spend time with. I don't know whether I want to be better more for myself or more for other people. Whatever the reason, it still needs to happen. 

My Logic

I do sweet bugger all day long. That's code for "nothing". No really, I am a champion procrastinator. I'm sure you already know that though. It seems to be a theme within these blogs. Me whining instead of actually doing anything to resolve the issue. However, I come to you on this fine morning not to complain, but to validate. Because I have officially come to terms with the fact that I'm always going to be the type of person who works best at the last minute, who works best in the dark.

My whole world is awake during the day. The people that I interact with face-to-face are up and about, the Sun is shining (on those precious days when the rain doth not tumble), and there is much to experience. Why would I spend those bright hours doing work? I can do work just as well when the rest of the world is asleep, and then I can do it without missing out on the reading of The Philosopher's Stone happening in the quad.

I can handle being a little sleep deprived. Yes, I know it's rude to doze off in class. Yes, I know that it's not particularly fun to feel like your eyes are too big for your head. But it's manageable. And in return for losing some sleep, I get to spend time with the people around me, get grades that won't warrant my father slapping me across the face, listen to a bit of slam poetry, and maybe even do something spontaneous.

So as I see it, while sleep would feel good, it wouldn't feel as good as it does to be awake.