Boyfriend

I dislike the term "boyfriend". Not because I'm against the idea of male companionship, or because I'm super PC and think that everybody should exclusively use the term "partner" when referring to their significant other. It's because it feels confining. Using the term "boyfriend" has always felt akin to putting myself into a box; into somebody else's idea of what a relationship is supposed to be. On the rare occasions when I have been in a position to call somebody my "boyfriend", the word has felt foreign coming off my tongue, awkward in my mouth, as though it doesn't really describe who that person is to me. Mind you, I've never been in a healthy relationship, but even if I ever am, I still don't believe that I will want to call the person I like/am infatuated with/love/desire/adore/whatever my "boyfriend". Lots of people use the term, and let me tell you, I certainly don't wish to emulate many of the relationships that I see before me. If I ever find someone with whom I wish to spend an inordinate amount of time, and whom I choose to kiss exclusively, it is likely that I will still wish to refer to that person as a friend.

Because that's what they will be.

Whoever decided that friendship and "relationship" are different entities is pretty wrong. Think about it: whom do you desire to spend the most time with? Your friends. You did choose them after all. If you desire to spend a lot of time with your family, it's because they are also your friends. Friend is another word that I think some people (including myself) often use too loosely. But that's another blog. You've got to be friends with someone if you ever wish to have a "relationship" with them, because hopefully you're going to be with them for a fairly long while, and you don't want to end up sick of each other or frequently wishing that they would just leave you alone or trying to force yourselves to understand each other just because you're "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" or "partners" or whatever the hell you are.

I don't want a "boyfriend".

I want a friend, who just happens to be a boy, and who I just happen to enjoy kissing for extended periods of time.

However, this poses a slight problem, because a lot of people will take my wish to not call somebody my "boyfriend" as me saying that I want to play fast and loose with their feelings and not commit. Yeah, because there aren't people who have a different "boyfriend" every week. The label doesn't make your relationship more legitimate. Your relationship makes your relationship more legitimate. Your character and your understanding of the other person and your interest in the other person decide whether you two should be together, not some arbitrary word that doesn't even really make sense. And so, if I ever get myself relationship, and the other person asks us what we are, I will tell that person:

We are us.